Harry Mottram’s Manifesto: With an election on July 4th 2024, there are a number of Independent candidates standing but several don’t have any form of manifesto – so in their absence this is my manifesto which I hope they adopt – in this very tongue in cheek round up.

The Economy:

Money: plastic fivers, tenners and other high value notes to be printed on paper as before since ‘substrates’ refuse to fold properly and slip out of a pocket and flutter away.

The return of names for coins: 1p=tanner; 2p=tuppence; 5p=shilling; 10p=florin; 50p to be replace by a 10 shilling note.

The EU: a new referendum on Brexit with the stipulation that all literature must be printed only in a European language such as Estonian. And if the Remainers win Nigel Farage to be deported to Russia.

Business: High Street shops such as Woolworths, Debenhams, Habitat etc to be brought back and parking to be free in town centres but expensive in out-of-town shopping centres.

Tax: Very rich people to be taxed far more than the rest of us. Non-doms not only to taxed but also dunked in village ponds once a year.

Salaries: nobody who works for a large national organisation like a utility or the Post Office to earn more than the prime minister. All employees who earn less than the so called average wage to automatically be paid the average wage. Freelancers who missed out on Covid payments to be given a backdated sum of two years of the national average wage (that’s me!). MPs who earn a second income from so-called consultancy work to hand all their earnings over to the local dog and cats’ home. Oh and the dog licence to be reintroduced as 10 shillings – see money.

Housing: the return of council houses, flats and maisonettes – to be constructed with playgrounds and shops as part of new estates – and pebble dash facias making a comeback.


Rail: all branch lines to be reopened under a new nationalised railway company called British Rail. Steam trains to be reintroduced as part of the rolling stock along with corridor trains as they add so much to chase scenes in films.

Cycling: Cycle paths on all roads to be built and anyone who knocks off a cyclist on the A38 near Gloucester to be made to give up their car and use a unicycle for ever.

Air: Bristol Airport to be moved to Weston-super-Mare where there are motorway, train and bus links – but I appreciate Locking Parklands would have to be flattened. Whoops.

Buses: bus conductors or clippies on all double decker buses to be reintroduced, bus drivers to wear peak caps and so many bus routes introduced there’s no need to drive.

Trams: all large towns and cities to have them – especially the old style ones pulled by horses.

Cars: taxed on how wide and long they are as some 4x4s are larger than small lorries – and the owners of so-called Chelsea Tractors to retake their driving test every year.

Er… that’s it for now as I will have upset most people!